You Matter!!!

We are all born into this world innocent and mindless.

We are all born into this world innocent and mindless. We are dependant on our caretakers to teach us what we need to know. What we are taught by our caretakers, our teachers and the social structure of our culture takes shape on a blank canvas that becomes our personality as we grow.

We are taught as children what is acceptable behavior and what is not. We are taught to conform to become socially acceptable in the eyes of our parents, our peers and in public. The foundational teachings we learn in early childhood seems to establish a deep-seated belief that conditions us to seek love, approval, and acceptance from other people in order to feel good enough about ourself, to feel worthy of attention and to feel of value in our world.

I can tell you that when a child is abused, locked in a closet, beaten nearly to death, shunned, ignored, disrespected, defiled, violated, blown off or unacknowledged repetitively they begin to feel as if they don’t matter.  Some of us feel invisible, unworthy, unloveable, unwanted or not good enough.

Some feel as if no one sees them, others don’t wish to be seen.  They feel as if they don’t fit, no one understands them and that no one really hears them. Some stay in the background, blend into the walls and watch in silence. Others believe that no one cares if they live or die, no wants them around and no one cares about what they think or what they are feeling anyway.

Repetitive events of abuse tend to ignite a mental thinking pattern of their parents’ voices evoking a cycle of self-judgment, self-criticism, shame and unwarranted guilt that takes them down a very dark road and drops them off into a pit of depression, apathy, anxiety, and self-destruction.

Some adapt and manage to become functional. You see them on the streets. You see them at the checkout counter in your local store, you even speak with them in your office…but you wouldn’t notice them as an abuse survivor if you didn’t know their story. Some become abusive to others and to themselves.

As they grow into adults, they begin to wonder why they do the things they do and why they think the way they do. No one has ever told them that it doesn’t have to stay that way. No one ever taught them how to heal their old wounds. So let me share this to those who still wonder and wander aimlessly for answers…

STOP! Stop the mindless repetitive parent tape rolling around in your head!

Push the eject button, pull out the damn tape and burn that sucker…

Now repeat this to yourself…every time it tries to replay in an echo anyway.

YOU MATTER!

Rise & Shine (CC0-courtesy of Pexels.com)

YOU MATTER MORE THAN YOU KNOW…

What you Think Matters.

What you Feel Matters.

Your Voice Matters.

Your Life, Your Dreams and Goals Matter!.

You would not have been born in this world

…if you were not meant to be here.

You don’t need to strive to BE someone

…because you ARE someone!

You are here for a reason.

Your existence has a purpose.

You are here to learn, to evolve and to be the best that you can be.

You just need to Dream it into existence.

Sacred Ground – Sacred Space

body temple -2035066-Lucas Pezeta from Pexels
Photo courtesy of Pexels – CC0 by Lucas Pezeta

The human body is a Temple of Love that houses the Spirit of one’s Soul. It is created by the Sacred union of the masculine and feminine forces of our Universe.

God, the Divine Breath and Spirit of Love planted the seed of Life in His Goddess, our Mother Earth, who was created and fashioned by the hand of God – to bring forth Life. All species reproduces and perpetuates Life in a similar fashion.

The human physical body is a microcosmic mirror of the Divine forces of our Universe. We hold inside of us the power of the Divine to bring forth Life and we have the ability to create what we want to see in our world.

We all carry within our body the Elemental forces of nature inside of us.

The Air that we breathe – is Holy.

The Planet that we walk on and all that is upon it – is Holy.

The Water that provides nourishment all Living things – is Holy.

The Fire and Light of Life itself that burns inside of us – is Holy.

Life itself – is Holy and the glue that holds it all together is Love.

We live on Sacred Ground within this Sacred Space of time in our human lifespan, yet we treat our world as a commodity, a passing thought and simply take it for granted that it will be there when we wake up every morning. We do not reflect on it as being a Holy Living entity.

Abuse and the abuse of power has become a global entity. We have appointed leaders in our governments that have allowed politicians and corporations to poison our air, our water, our soil and pillage the natural resources that sustains all of Life with impunity. We don’t have the power to vote for the Bills they put into play with their bed partners and therefore our right to Life and Liberty has been slowly stripped from us.

Within us, we treat our bodies in the same manner. We buy food instead of growing our own, and what our politician and corporations feed us are genetically modified by industrialists and poisoned by pesticides that constantly harms our inner environment all in the name of money and power over the masses.

We have given away our power to politicians in bed with corporations and have allowed them free reign over our sovereign right to Life. They have bastardized and rewritten the original human rights instituted by the Magna Carta which was the precursor to the Bill of Rights in the Constitution of the United States, establishing the minimal rights afforded to all living things under the natural laws of Life itself.

Abuse has an insidious way of changing people. Trust is broken. We are taught to conform to what is socially acceptable. We are used and abused by those who lord themselves over us as our true power to love is stripped away – piece by piece. Is it any wonder why people are angry?

Reclaiming ones’ individual personal power is a pivotal point that is much needed. People are beginning to wake up and realize that what our world needs now is something drastically new. The old paradigms are dying. It is making way for the rebirth of humanity and our world. That rebirth begins with each human being doing their part to reclaim this Sacred Ground in this Sacred Space.

Change and transformation begins within each person. It starts by healing our own internal wounds so we can see and perceive things more clearly to speak and act with kindness and generosity toward all Life…including each other.

The Sands of Time

Sands of Time
Photo by Pixabay – CC0 woman-walking-in-beach-509127

 

The Sands of time hold the remains of the challenges we have faced, both collectively and individually, throughout human history.

This morning my mind sifted through the sands of my lifepath. The strands that composed my thinking this morning reminded me of something I learned long ago.  The sand we feel beneath our feet on the beach were once boulders.

Stones have been often used as placeholders that were firmly encased in the soil, held high on the side of a mountain or may have been graced to hold the sacred space of sacred ground of an ancient civilization in our world.

In many native traditions, the Stone People held both knowledge and information about the area in which it lay and its journey of how it got there. Those who were gifted were able to access the historical imprints and learn from them. Today, the modern term used to describe the gift of Psychometry.

I know it has been months since my last post. Much as happened in my corner of the world since I have written here. My computer crashed on the dawn of the New Year after attempting a fresh start. That fresh start wiped out the operating system from the computer manufacturer who just happened to close support for the unit in October.

I wondered what the Universe was telling me. Then the correlation hit me. I believe they were telling me that my internal operating system was in need of repair and I realized that I could no longer continue to operate from old patterned programs of thinking. It was time to delete old program files, get rid of empty folders and repair any broken short cuts in my mindset.

I dove into research, sought classes to glean knowledge, soaked up some remarkable webinars and learned a great deal. Then I took the time to dig more deeply into the shadows of yet more unresolved wounds. I was driven to uproot more empirical truths from the challenges I had faced in my youth and I am grateful that I did. The journey was a treasure trove that flooded me with a plethora of epiphanies that I will share in my book.

The most recent upheaval took place on May 30th, 2019 when my baby sister passed away. I will share some things about that experience in a separate post here soon.

May your day be blessed.

 

The School of Life

Photo by Marta Bernal from Pexels

Photo by Marta Bernal from Pexels.com – CC0 free license

The School of Life has so much to teach – if only we would stop to observe and listen to the story whispered to our Soul. Sometimes we become inundated with the needs of people in our lives, at home, at work or no matter where we go. We see what is written on their faces that tells us without words where their mindset leans. We hear the words that are unspoken behind their eyes. We feel the impact of their words or actions when we are in their presence. The world outside our door teaches us what our schools do not and yet its language for many remains a mystery.

We see a tree renewed in the spring as the buds of their leaves and fruit are born forth reminding us that not all is lost and after walking the long dark of winter we feel the lifeblood of the Mother Earth come alive inside of us. We are like the trees before us. We Stand firmly rooted in our faith and know that we are still here and that Life renews itself. We are alive and are meant to thrive.

We see the four-legged beings in various forms sauntering by in their pursuits. A rabbit hops into sight trembling in fear of a winged predator that may come and sweep them into the air for dinner. It stops often to listen and look before it moves toward that tiny clump of lamb quarters not two feet away. When it arrives, its vigilance remains keen, its muscles tight and ready to sprint as it chews on the providence of abundance before them.

We hear the call of the hawk’s piercing cry, beckoning our attention to awareness. We become alert to our environment and become mindful of what we are doing and where we are going. It is Spirit’s messenger that begs us to follow the promptings of our heart instead of the wayward path of this world.

We stop long enough to look down and see a tiny ant, struggling with retrieving a succulent leaf 20 times its own size. It stops and assesses its targets position and thereby repositions itself in yet another attempt to lift and carry it home. The attempt fails but it does not give up. It continues the dance of assessment until alas he finds another way to retrieve Earth’s blessing. He hoists his heavy ladened treasure and moves around mountains of debris and any other obstacle in its path, never wavering in the task.

We see a lone flower in bloom sitting alone on a mountain of rocks. No other life can be seen around it. A tiny seed on the breeze has brought it into a stark empty environment, and yet this tiny seed found purchase in between the crack of one boulder. There is dug its roots deep to find the nourishment it needed to survive and thrive among a bunch of rocks. It withstood every windstorm holding firm. It braved the scorching heat of the sun-infused stones that tried to burn it out and the torrential rains that tried to uproot its foothold – and it grew to share its radiant beauty with all who passed on by.

Abundant Gratitude

abundance-agriculture-autumn-decoration-265562
Abundant Gratitude Courtesy of Pixabay.com – CC00

 

I am grateful for Life and the ability to breathe.
I am grateful for all of Life’s mysteries.
I am grateful for my senses and sensibilities.

 I am grateful to my parents for being absent…
… you made me unafraid to be on my own.
… you taught me to be my own woman.

I am grateful for your obtuse abuse…
…you taught me resilience,
…you taught me strength
…you taught me self-respect and resolve.

I am grateful for your criticisms…
…you taught me to be critical in my thinking.
…you taught me to think for myself.
…you taught me to see things from a different perspective.
…you taught me not to believe everything I heard.

I am grateful for betraying my innocence and trust…
…you opened my eyes to my reality.
…you taught me to see things more clearly.
…you taught me trust must be earned.

I am grateful to my siblings for shunning me…
…you taught me self-preservation was key.

I am grateful to all my family for abandoning me…
…you taught me to be self-reliant.
…you taught me to hold my head up and walk alone.

I am grateful to my ex-husband for your abuse…
…you taught me longsuffering and temperance.
…you became the catalyst for my healing journey from abuse.

I am grateful to my current husband and my children…
…you taught me acceptance.
…you taught me patience.
…you taught me it was safe to trust.
…you taught me it was safe to speak up.
…you taught me it was safe to step out of my comfort zone.
…you taught me it was okay to be who I am.
…you taught me Love really does exist in this world.
…you taught me to Believe in myself.

I am grateful You are here.
I am grateful You hear my heart.
I am grateful to You…for just being You.

 

Dancing the Sacred Spiral

Dancing the Sacred Spiral is what we all do whether we are aware of it or not.

 

Dancing the Sacred Spiral
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Dancing this Sacred Spiral is what we all do whether we are aware of it or not. We experience something that reminds us of an unhealed wound. That wound is reopened and we are flooded with memories, thought patterns and emotions we ‘thought’ we were done with, only now we are forced to look at the experience or experiences again.

Know Thyself, Heal Thyself were the words that were written over the Temples in Delphi, Greece centuries ago. Words that I took to heart because I knew the exorbitant costs of professional counseling were way out of reach for me; and, even if I did have counsel I knew I would still have to do the work myself anyway.

“Children learn what they Live” I know this – we all do.

Some of us are quite aware of what we have learned from childhood on up. Some do not. Our personalities and character grow on the spiral upward from childhood based on our experiences and encounters with life and other human beings.

As an abuse survivor, I have had to dig deep to uproot the hidden lessons from the first 38 years of my life. You would think I would have learned and healed all of the issues associated with the things I endured in those years, but here it is 23 years later and I find that I have not.

My healing journey is an ongoing process that takes me back to dig through some very deep-seated issues, sadness and emotions I thought I was done with. Mentally and emotionally it sucks but, don’t get me wrong, I am truly grateful when I unearth the hidden issues that need to be reviewed because I know that there is more that needs to be reconciled, forgiven and released.

Hurtful experiences from the past tend to be on a subconscious trigger that flips the switch to automatic ‘recall’. We have no choice but to ‘remember’ it when the memory or memories resurface into consciousness. When it happens then it becomes my job to review and redefine the experience and the emotions that go along with it. Only then can I refile that old memory with a more positive mindset, viewpoint, and emoticon to go with it.

This repetitive process of review has given me an updated perspective and a new way of looking at things. It has adjusted the perception of myself, other people and our world. May it be so with you.

Spirit blessings

(Note: “Children learn what they Live” is a limited self-published, self-distributed channeled booklet of poems written by the author during her healing journey in 2007.)

 

For my Readers

I am taking a leap of faith today and would like to share a chapter from my memoir. I haven’t completely settled on the name of my book, but for now, it seems fitting to follow through with the name I have applied to it in my mind. For the moment, I think “Snippets of Time” seems fitting.

bind blank business close up
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I am taking a leap of faith today and would like to share a chapter from my memoir. I haven’t completely settled on the name of my book, but for now, it seems fitting to follow through with the name I have applied to it in my mind. For the moment, I think “Snippets of Time” seems fitting.

My memoir is about the effects of abuse on a child and how abuse has grown and has become magnified throughout society today. We see and experience it all around us from individuals to those business and from those at all levels of government around the world.

There is no human being on the face of this planet who has not been touched by it in some form. No one is immune from its grasp nor are they immune from its effects. It has touched us all and it is time to change it.

Some of you may find this chapter disturbing, yet it is a true account of an event that has been burned in my soul. It has affected my development and my personality in more ways that I can tell you, and this is just a small part of what I have experienced in my lifetime. If you feel so led to respond – I would be honored to hear some feedback from you.

With a heart of gratitude – Thank you.

Click the blue link if you are interested.

Chapter III – The Green Bathroom